1978 Program

The Northwest Arkansas Gridiron first hit the stage — well, “stage” might be too grand a term; how about raised “sheep-auction platform” — of the Rodeo Community Center Building in Springdale on March 24, 1978. The theme was “Close Encounters of the Fourth Estate.” Here’s the lineup.

Act 1

“We’re On Our Way” ♫


“The Snoozeroom”

A look at the operations of a modem newspaper, the Daily Snooze.

Staff — Lens Cap, Brenda Blabb, Scoop VanLaningham, Steve Quirk, Guy Barnestorm, Dave Deadmark, and the Advertising Man.

“Comment from the Capitol”

A report to the people from a member of Congress.

John Paul Hammerhead.

“A Word from the Sponsor”

Leaky diamonds are the least of our worries.

Bill Underling — Steve Voorhies

“An Evening with the Quorum Circus”

A civics lesson for everyone as county government comes alive.

Judge Jester, Lonnie B. Good, Marilyn the Clerk, Peg Answersure, Ralph Rookie, J.C. Canttell, Peggy Fizzle, Jack Amaze, Gene Havealittlefun, Peter Sharkskin, Kenneth Ourman, Jerry Henhouse, Louis McJunkie, Larry Foullips, Loyd Swoop, and Bryan Joker.

“Johann Sebastian Crock Lives”

Crock, Springdale’s resident foolosopher, tells it like he sees it through his very red eyes.

Johann Sebastian Crock — Guy Barnes

“The Airplane Ride”

You meet the strangest people on airplanes these days.

The Pilot, Bill Clinton, David Pryor, Charles Bishop, the Priest and the Student.

“The Gospel of Springdale City” ♫

The man who took the dirty magazines off the racks returns to say his piece.

The Once and Former Police Chief and the Rowdy Rabble Rousers.

“On the Road with Preacher Roe”

A sermon on public safety.

Preacher Roe.

“The Sheriff and the Sniper”

“Ready! Aim! Oops!”

Sheriff Herb Sheriff, Deputies and a Narcotics Agent.

“The Adventures of Robbin’ HUD” ♫

“How a federal agency takes from the rich, takes from the poor and runs.”

Robbin’ HUD, Hassle D. Lay, the WALNITT Organizer and the Chorus.

— Intermission —

Act 2

“Timely News Update”

The television news report which bites through the crust of the stories of the day and spits them out.

Brenda Blabb, Scoop VanLaningham, a Concerned Citizen and a Commercial Announcer .

“Support Your Local Constable”

Yo’re inna heap o’ trouble, boy.

The Constable

“The Benton County Waterhole”

Life in a dry county can be … well, dry.

The Judge, the Prosecuting Attorney and two Justices of the Peace.

“Miss Centennial” ♫

Zee Whackery, Dingbat Walker, the Contestants, and the Lecherous Male.

Brian Williams

“Yeah, Yeah, We Know Who You Are”

… But a little reminder never hurts.

Bill Clinton — Charlie Alison

“Don’t Feel Sorry for Lou Holtz”

Other sports, including football, do have a place at a basketball-oriented college.

Lou Holtz, Frank Broyles, Houston Dale Nutt, Steve Little, the Student Manager, the Sports Writers and the Other Football Players.

“Stash the Trash” ♫

Maybe someday they’ll open a sanitary landfill and nobody will have any garbage left.

Carl Carpenter and the Environmentalists.

“Still Sinking After All These Years”

A major new medical facility goes down, down, down in history and other places.

The Administrator, the Reporter, the Photographer and the Surgeons.

“Roll ‘Em and Weep” ♫

“If Cronkite calls, tell him I’m considering other offers.”

The TV Reporter, the Photographer and the Public Official.

“Let’s Play Politics” ♫

A game of skill and luck in which one contestant wins and the others pretend they really don’t mind.

Molly Hall, Don Pardo, Jay, David Pryor, Ray Thornton and Jim Guy Tucker.

“We’ve Had Our Say” ♫

And that’s quite enough.

Entire Cast.