2016 Program

With a national election between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, the program for the 2016 show should have been easy to write. But as they say, how do you satirize satire.


Act 1

“Will Write for Practically Nothing” ♫
Journalists get an obscure visitor

Journalists stage a sit-in for higher wages, but their protest is ordered out of order by Rep. Mike Womack. Then the cast breaks into song!

Scoop –Brooke McNeely Galligan
Reporters – Samantha Herrera, Rebecca Soard, Sarah Warnock
Cameraman – James Schlecte
Steve Womack – Brantly Houston
Aide – Erin Spandorf
Singers – Britt Graves, Vivian Cummings, Zessna Garcia-Rios
Protesters – The rest of the cast

“Joe and Sandy Get Swamped”
So rice to be in Stuttgart – duck!

The new chancellor of the university takes a bus tour of Arkansas, meets the locals and begins to understand the state of the natural state.

Bus Driver – Debbie Miller
Researcher – Britt Graves
Assistant – Sarah Van Doorn
Chancellor Steinmetz – Charlie Alison
Mrs. Steinmetz – Vivian Cummings
Billy Bob – Flip Putthoff
Bobby Ray – Ray Minor

“Not Judged on his Merrick”
Will they ever confirm?

Like the old Kingston Trio song, “Charlie and the MTA,” you have to wonder whether the Senate will ever let Merrick Garland’s nomination to the Supreme Court be confirmed.

GOP Lawmakers – Flip Putthoff, Stacey Roberts, Rusty Turner

“A House Divided”
A realtor’s dream

If you’re ready to move to another country depending on whomever is elected president, have we got some prime real estate for you in Timbuktoo.

Ralph – Ray Minor
Alice – Brooke McNeely Galligan
Vlad – Steve Voorhies
Perry – James Schlecte
Athena – Samantha Herrera

“Dr. Macadoodles” ♫
Where prices aren’t high, but you can be

Who stands to gain the most if Arkansas voters approve a medical-marijuana initiative on the ballot? Macadoodles, of course!

Edith – Katherine Shurlds
Hank – Flip Putthoff
Clerks – Erin Spandorf, Debbie Miller, Sarah Van Doorn

“A Battle of Biblical Proportions”
Forsooth!

Verily, whenst David Pryor the elder aimeth his slingshot at the Goliath of Razorback Nation, the temple walls might come crumbling down. Or not.

Mike Irwin – Dave Edmark
Alyssa Orange – Britt Graves
David Pryor – Steve Voorhies
Jeff Long – Charlie Alison

“You’re Elected”
Making great appointments – really great

Imagine whom would be appointed during the first hours of a Donald Trump presidency. Someone to abolish the word “whom”?

Donald Trump – Rusty Turner
Eric Trump – Flip Putthoff
Ivanka Trump – Julia Trupp
John Kerry – Brantly Houston
Dennis Rodman – DeShaun Artis
Loretta Lynch – Zessna Garcia-Rios
Julianna Margulies – Clarissa Bustamante
Bernie Sanders – Dave Edmark

“I’m Just a Bill” ♫
Bill can’t seem to get off the Capitol steps

Remember Bill? You know, from Capitol Hill? Such a quaint old-fashioned notion of governance.

Bill – Sarah Warnock
Girl – Erin Spandorf

“Shazam!”
What if former Sheriff Kelley Cradduck got transported to Mayberrry?

Aside from Gomer, Goober, Thelma Lu and Floyd, the gang is all here.

Announcer – James Schlecte
Barney Fife – Steve Voorhies
Sheriff Kelley Cradduck – Rusty Turner
Opie – Charlie Alison
Tex – Flip Putthoff
Aunt Bea – Brenda Blagg
Clara – Stacey Roberts
Howard – DeMarius Davis

“Spinning at the Top”
Olivia Pope takes on a scandalous candidate

Strategic public relations advice from the star of Scandal is the perfect antidote to make a candidate seem authentic and trustworthy.

Tim Kaine – Dave Edmark
Olivia Pope – Zessna Garcia-Rios

“Saying Goodbye to Potus and Flotus” ♫
They did survive – and we did too

The Obamas will be checking out of the West Wing come January 2017, but it’s never too early to say goodbye in song.

Liz Warren – Rebecca Soard
Nancy Pelosi – Stacey Roberts
Barbara Boxer – Brooke McNeely Galligan
Hillary Clinton – Katherine Shurlds
Loretta Lynch – Zessna Garcia-Rios
Ruth Bader Ginsburg – Erin Spandorf

Michelle Obama – Kristin Smith
Barack Obama – DeShaun Artis
Malia Obama – Wendy Echeverria
Sasha Obama – Clarissa Bustamante

Mitch McConnell – Dave Edmark
GOP visitors – Steve Voorhies, Ray Minor

LGBTQ Celebrants – Sarah Van Doorn, Britt Graves, Vivian Cummings, Flip Putthoff
Party goers – Rest of cast


Intermission


Act 2


“Timely News Update”
Live on Facebook!

The senior Gridiron correspondents mix their metaphors with petit-fours.

Aaron Brown – Dave Edmark
Katie Couric – Stacey Roberts
Dr. Red Neck – Steve Voorhies

“Dance with Me” ♫
Taking a LaTour around the floor

If there are any wallflowers left, they say “save the last dance for … someone else.”

John LaTour – Ray Minor
Greta – Sarah Warnock
Dancers – DeShaun Artis, Clarissa Bustamant, Vivian Cummings, Brantly Houston, Flip Putthoff, Rebecca Soard, Erin Spandorf

“Survey Says: None of the Above”
A feud between dynasties

Five top answers are on the board to this question: Whaaaaa?

Steve Harvey – DeMarius Davis
Hillary Clinton – Katherine Shurlds
Bill Clinton – Charlie Alison
Chelsea Clinton – Sarah Van Doorn
Donald Trump – Rusty Turner
Ivanka Trump – Julia Trupp
Donald Trump Jr. – James Schlecte

“Pork-e-Mon Go!”
Imaginary icons on the UA campus

The Pokemon craze gets a little revisionary treatment for students touring the University of Arkansas.

Orientation Ambassador – Erin Spandorf
Students – Wendy Echeverria, DeShaun Artis, Samantha Herrera, Rebecca Soard

“It (was) a Family Tradition” ♫
What went wrong for Jeb!!!???

Could John Adams and John Quincy Adams have foreseen the rise of The Donald? We think not.

George H.W. Bush – Ray Minor
George W. Bush – Charlie Alison
Jeb Bush – Brantly Houston
Guitarist – Flip Putthoff

“Guys’ Gripe Group”
Men fear living in a Hillary world

Don’t let the football hit you on the way out the door.

Angry Men – DeShaun Artis, DeMarius Davis, Dave Edmark, Rusty Turner, Steve Voorhies

“Working at Fox News” ♫
The real “foxes” in Fox News offer a Parton shot

What Ailes the Fox News Channel is sung best to a Dolly Parton tune.

Fox News Females – Zessna Garcia-Rios, Kristin Smith, Julia Trupp

“The Stufflebeams”
Letitia and Elmer consider the election

From our holler to yours. Ain’t that right?

Letitia Mae Stufflebeam – Brenda Blagg
Elmer Stufflebeam – Steve Voorhies

“Amazeum Likenesses”
Waxing eloquent on a new museum with some old favorites

Madame Toussaud, eat your heart out. Wait, not literally.

Tour Guide – Debbie Miller
Tourists – Wendy Echeverria, Vivian Cummings, Julia Trupp
Sam Walton – Dave Edmark
Kathy Deck – Rebecca Soard
John Boozman – Ray Minor
Connor Eldridge – James Schlecte

“America’s Got Political Talent” ♫
Really? we haven’t found any…

The 2016 presidential race tumbles toward November as if they were a reality show. If only.

Announcer – DeMarius Davis
Host – DeShaun Artis

Bernie Supporters – Zessna Garcia-Rios, Britt Graves, Sarah Warnock
Hillary Supporters – Samantha Herrera
Bernie – Dave Edmark

Vicente Fox – Steve Voorhies

Paul Ryan – Brantly Houston
Donald Trump – Rusty Turner

Paul Manafort – Ray Minor
Hope Hicks – Clarissa Bustamante

Hillary Clinton – Katherine Shurlds

Reporters – Charlie Alison, Vivian Cummings, Brooke McNeely Galligan, Rebecca Soard, rest of cast

“Now It’s Over” ♫
We’re outta here…

The whole cast and caboodle